Did ya hear the one about…

You can’t pick up a paper, or pop onto the ‘Net for a minute without getting barraged by all the doom and gloom that Identity Theft has brought to our lives. So, with nothing to do but wait for my son’s next bottle to pop out of the Microwave, I started thinking about the problem of identity theft and I came to the grim realization that our government (gasp! I used the “G” word!) should be doing more about this crap. Now, I know this sounds strange coming from me, because most of you know that I’m a fierce proponent of giving the government the finger whenever they attempt to “save us” by injecting their continued insanity and illogic into our daily lives.

But… as a victim of Identity Theft myself (and after five years it still rears it’s ugly head from time to time…) I almost flinch every time I hear that “LIFELOCK” commercial on TV. You know the one, where the guy who runs it plasters his Social Security Number on a mobile billboard and all but dares you to take a stab at screwing up his life forever…

He’s become famous, because identity theft has become an economy unto itself. If all businesses survive on “supply and demand, it looks like Identity Theft is gonna be the next issuer of an IPO.  It sure has “demand,” as the thieves and miscreants use the stolen information for their own financial gain,  and the “supply,” is obviously all the stolen IDs.  In fact, if you venture out on the Internet, you’ll be exposed to all kinds of opportunities to do in your fellow man, via a whole sales process of selling phishing kits, IDs, skimmers, etc. 

And they’re gonna be around for a while, folks. Think of all the places that keep track of your personal information… Your life has become a digital minefield. A close look will reveal that your “identity safety net” has about a thousand holes in it, that any competent bad guy can get thru, to pillage your persona.

Records can easily be found at your banks, your employers, your cell phone providers, your local cable company, your apartment complex, the government, your doctor’s office, and the list goes on and on.

And that’s not the end of it. Think of all the places you visit on a daily basis, places where you scan your information to be stored, like the ATM, or the corner grocery store, for instance.  All of these data warehouses are potential places where your data could be stolen from.  The attacks are well known these days, phishing, web application compromise, skimming, etc. It’s not safe to leave the house anymore! I’m starting to miss the days of bartering chickens and goats for gasoline! LOL!

So, having to choke on that heartburn enchilada, I had to laugh when I read today that the guy who runs LIFELOCK got spanked. It seems that Todd Davis got HIS identity stolen. It’s not like he was asking for it. He didn’t plaster his vital information all over the internet, the media, and print ads, for anyone to see… Oh wait, yes he did…

I’m still laughing (I’m laughing with you, Todd, not at you…) when I think about it. I’m not alone in the world, Todd Davis (CEO of LIFELOCK) has joined the club with me, and has had his identity stolen. I feel for the poor guy, after all, he bet his business reputation and his public life on the fact that his company could protect ANYONE from all forms of identity theft, but the harsh reality is it didn’t.

And, it’s not like he’s denying it;

“There’s nothing to indicate my identity has been successfully compromised other than the one instance.”

Okay, other than the one instance, that is, but it was just that once. Uh-huh.

Part of the problem here is that people don’t realize just how big a jungle it is out there, and how many different animals intent on eating your identity are actually looming in the darkness.

Oh sure, LIFELOCK pledges that they’ll pony up a cool million dollars in your defense, but the problem is with the $1,000,000 protection they offer up, which unfortunately has absolutely nothing to do with the kind of thing that Todd got stung by. It doesn’t have anything to do with the most prevalent type of ID theft used lately, technology breakdowns in the system – which is a far less likely occurrence, that LIFELOCK can’t possibly protect you from.

LIFELOCK screams it from the rooftops, loud and proud;

“Our service guarantee is simple, but it is limited. We will pay up to $1,000,000 to cure the failure or defect in our service…”

I’m not sure that’s gonna help ME much, if I get phished… And it’s not just that… their site is pretty deceptive. They lead you to believe that they’re Serpico looking for felons in the alleys, protecting you while you sleep.

What this actually means is that if LIFELOCK doesn’t stop the intrusion, they fix it at their expense up to $1,000,000.

Sooo, campers… it appears that what LIFELOCK doesn’t stop, you are flapping from the handlebars to wrestle with, all by your onesies… And that’s the part that sucks. I actually signed up with Todd, and all I’ve gotten so far is letters from the Credit Bureaus telling me that they can’t provide me with copies of my credit report, for “security reasons.” I reported this to LIFELOCK and asked them to terminate my membership, but that hasn’t stopped them from continuing to hit my credit card for the monthly fees, anyway. I’m still wondering when they’re gonna get that sorted out.

And, the saddest part is that I was pulling for the guy. Todd had me thinking that the day had gotten brighter, and there was a new dawn approaching, one where I was able to sleep nights, safe in the knowledge that Todd and his Cyber Ninjas were fighting the good fight, watching my back while I slept.

It’s really too bad, because I wished this company was exactly what it claimed to be, and not just another money-making venture that preys on the “mongering of fear.” There are literally millions of people who could actually benefit tremendously from it.

I guess Todd will have to rethink his marketing a bit, huh?

 

~ by hired4genius on June 13, 2008.